Have I an Object, Lord, Below

Have I an object, Lord, below
Which would divide my heart with Thee?
Which would divert its even flow
In answer to Thy constancy?
O teach me quickly to return,
And cause my heart afresh to burn.

Have I a hope, however dear,
Which would defer Thy coming, Lord-
Which would detain my spirit here
Where naught can lasting joy afford?
From it, my Savior, set me free
To look and long and wait for Thee.

Be Thou the object bright and fair
To fill and satisfy the heart,
My hope to meet Thee in the air,
And nevermore from Thee to part;
That I may undistracted be
To follow, serve, and wait for Thee."

-G. W. Frazer


"Fix your eyes on the rising Morning Star. Don't be disappointed at anything or over-elated, either. Live every day as if the Son of Man were at the door, and gear your thinking to the fleeting moment. Just how can it be redeemed? Walk as if the next step would carry you across the threshold of Heaven. Pray. That saint who advances on his knees never retreats."
-Jim Elliot

Will Control

I've been thinking a lot about my will for the past few days. My desires and hopes, the ones I try not to have. No, they're not sinful in and of themselves. But if given too much weight, focus, and worship, they will be.

A few weeks ago, I was leading a Bible study with some teen girls discussing living out faith. I commented how when we worry, we take on weight that does not belong to us, and the stress feels like we're hamsters running on a wheel. We're not getting anywhere. My co-leader wondered if any of us felt like we get on and off that wheel, in what circumstances, and why. I reflected on how I have given my will (and wheel) to God regarding my new job and move. I am trusting Him with the details and have taken my hands off. However, I consistently try to take up the reins regarding my singleness.

That thought has stayed with me and I've wondered why that is the case. Why can I trust God to give me a job, a place to live, a church home and new friends in a new city, but struggle with believing that He knows best regarding my relationship status?

I have also been reading about God's sovereignty. Actually, He keeps teaching me about His sovereignty through scripture, blogs, tweets, conversations... all very sovereignly of course. The message is clear. "I am in control. I control creation, man, powers and situations. I work everything to accomplish my purposes for my glory and your good. Nothing is outside of my control." Nothing is outside of God's control.

This is important truth, but let's back up. God is working things out to accomplish a plan. His plan. There is a plan. There is a plan! And it will come to pass.

God has a will, an agenda. Psalm 33:10-11 states "The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." So what business do I have with a will of my own? What purpose is there in making plans apart from God? What satisfaction can be gained in hoping in the temporary?

If you recall how I started, I said I had been thinking about my will lately. Not only is it unnecessary, but it is harmful. I recently read that we Christians create stress when we wrestle with two wills - God's and ours. We say we want His, but we hold on to our own, leading to disappointment and resentment toward God and what He is doing. We focus on how God will "give us the desires of our heart" but overlook how we are to first "delight in the Lord".

Luke 14:33 says, "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." I can't help but think Jesus meant an all-encompassing "everything". So yes, our physical belongings are free game, but also our preferences, our desires, our hopes, our wills. In fact, our very lives.

The Experiencing God study makes it plain. "Until you are ready to make any change necessary to follow and obey what God has said, you will be of little use to God. Your greatest single difficulty in following God may come at this point of full surrender."

A few things have happened recently to remind me of a particular will or hope I still have as it relates to relationships. As this desire was reawakened, I found myself throwing a pity party. Oh, how unfair it is that God won't give me what I want! Why must I kill my will? Why can't God want to do the things I would like?

Yeah, I went there. But it was no surprise to God.

I was sure of God's sovereignty over me, but not of God's everlasting love for me. I don't know best. God does. I do not know the future. God does. I do not control circumstances and people. God does. I don't even know how many hairs I have on my own head. However, God does. 

God does not want to see me miss His best. He alone knows what that is. He alone is the map to get there.

God created everything. He created me. He gave me purpose. He gave His Son to die for me. He offers me intimate fellowship with Him. He has a plan for my life that fits into a larger, glorious narrative of salvation, redemption and relationship. He asks me to give up worry, stress, fear, doubt, and death in exchange for peace, joy, acceptance, contentment, provision, protection, relationship and eternal life. No, this is not fair. I don't deserve any of it. But He lavishes grace.

I can keep stressing over the strain of having two wills. I can turn up at one pity party after the other. I can strive to get what I think is best. However, I am choosing to take George Mueller's advice on how to discern God's voice, "I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter... Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is."

I am not sure exactly what God wills for me next week, tomorrow or even today. But I am aiming to make sure I am open and ready to do whatever He says. This is hard work. And I can only be faithful by God's power and grace. So pray for me.

For you, I pray that you would be reminded frequently of how big God is and how loving God is. I pray you would know He is not one at the expense of the other. He cares for you. He has a best for you. I pray that you would, like me, aim to give up everything, all temporary shadows, to gain everything that is eternal and real. Amen.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a video that has challenged me about my desires for marriage. Helpful if you have a similar will that needs to be conformed to God's.

Here is a song that blesses and convicts me EVERY time I listen to it.

Be blessed!
Miya

A Worthy Man

I want to be married. I think that is a sentiment many single women can relate to. However, I am a bit particular about the kind of marriage I want.

I want to be in a marriage that is life-long, mutually encouraging. I want this marriage to reveal God’s great grace that He lavished on us when He chose to love wretched sinners. Undeserving wretched sinners. I want to be sanctified in my marriage, purified and presented without spot or blemish.

I envision a marriage where the husband prays fervently with, for and over his family. He lays himself and his desires down for the good of the family. He loves me as his own body, cherishing and nourishing me. He teaches and challenges me spiritually. He holds fast to me, at the expense of all other earthly relationships.

I envision a marriage where I, the wife, pray fervently with and for my family. I lay my desires down, and yield to my husband’s leadership, trusting that he is being led by the Father. I want to follow so badly.

I am accustomed to leading, making plans and following through. I work every day, have to be the leader in my classroom, come home, pay bills, get the oil changed, file taxes, make tough decisions that affect my future. I travel here, meet a friend there, apply to a job here, minister there. Though I am capable of doing it all, handling it all, managing it all…

God’s design of submission is for our freedom. I long for the day I can let go, just trust in the leadership God has given me.

As a single, 26 year-old, who loves the Lord and has the previously mentioned expectations for marriage, dating is hard. Experience has taught me to be hard, protected, in control. Studying God’s design for women is teaching me to be soft, quiet, gentle. It is difficult to navigate when and how to be these things with men. The truth is that most men I meet (single or otherwise) are not currently meeting the mold I described above. So I long to be hard. Careful. And untrusting. When I decide to let down the guards and soften, I get hurt and woefully disappointed.

So I know that I have these expectations in my mind for what good leadership looks like. I have an idea of what a good man is like. And I can be unduly judgmental and prideful. I want to be broken of this. I want my expectations and ideals to come straight from Jesus and His Word – sprinkled with grace for the fallenness of this world.

I want to follow so badly. I don’t want to be in charge. I don’t want to be the (only) voice of reason, truth and holiness. I don’t want to be the constant reminder to read the Word or pray. I want to be encouraged. Inspired. Challenged. I want to be reminded I have not obtained the prize. I want to be convicted of sin and loved to repentance. I don’t want to be the one aspired to; only Jesus sits in that seat.

I am strong-willed and stubborn. Cement that with a desire to live for Jesus, and I may never be married. I don’t want to just be married. I want a godly, Christ-church covenant mystery-revealing marriage. And that seems to be hard to come by. I want to follow, but not just anybody. And I won’t follow just anybody. But I will follow a worthy man.

A servant heart.

Humble.

Kind.

Heals with words.

Consistent.

Gracious.

Sacrificial.

Faithful.

Pure.

Truthful.

Above reproach.

Compassionate.

Bold.

Powerful.

Present.

Forgiving.

A refuge.

Loving father.

Holy.

Jesus.

I want to be married. I want so badly to follow a worthy man. My problem is that I get caught up in the fantasy that it needs to be human and temporary. Oh! But to bask in the truth that I am already in a covenant relationship with the only one deserving of my submission. Jesus, who gave up His status, power, and comfort to be dirty, sick, mocked, beaten, hated and killed – for me. Jesus, who identifies with my struggles and comforts me with consistent, ever-present, never-changing love. Jesus, who graciously forgives me of all my rebellion, disrespect and pride. Jesus, who cares more for my growth than I do and always convicts and challenges me to be closer, deeper, better. Jesus, who exposes all of Him and wants all of me, pursues great intimacy.

My proper response to such a worthy man is to follow. To drop the walls, let go of the reins, and walk hand-in-hand with the Trust-worthy One.

Instead of despairing over the seemingly desolate single-girl terrain, I can rejoice in the relationship and leadership I have in Christ. And if God decides to send a man that is chasing hard after the image of God in Jesus, I pray He gives me the grace to see how following that man is the same as following Him.

Take heart, single ladies. Enjoy the freedom of submitting to the true Worthy One.

*Please go back and meditate on the attributes of Jesus, our Worthy Man. Think deeply on how He has shown Himself to be those things in scripture and in your life. Be blessed!

Marriage Matters: A Single Girl's Thoughts

Keepsakes

Tonight my church's Women's Ministry hosted an event called "Marriage Matters". It was a time to fellowship with other women, learn more about God's design for marriage, and wives in particular, and encourage one another through testimonies and transparency.

Well, I'm single. 
That was actually my answer to the icebreaker. "My name is Miya. And I'm single."

A couple of years ago at the last Marriage Matters, my answer was a bit different. My perspective and my motivation for going was a little different then as well. Tonight, I prayed before I went that I would have an open, unguarded heart to hear and receive all God might want to say. I prayed that I would not react with bitterness at the large majority who seemed to have something I wanted. I prayed I would enjoy the fellowship of all my sisters in Christ.

In the first 10 minutes, after bluntly stating my answer to the icebreaker, a guest brought me to tears as she asked about the man she had last seen me with. I said, "Yes, he is my ex-boyfriend." It seemed to sting her more than me. Her face contorted, head tilted to the side, as she replied with all earnestness, "I am so sorry. I know how hard it can be to lose a friend..." Her pain reminded me of my own. But I wasn't upset, because she truly was moved by my loss. And a loss it was.

Unguarded heart? Check.
True fellowship? Check.
But boy was I nervous at what the rest of the night would be like.

The talk started.
There was prayer. There was truth. There were testimonies. There were raw questions and heartfelt, prayerful answers.
There was encouragement. And not just for the married ladies.

As we read about God's plan and design for wives, it became clear it is for all women.

Submission
We submit to Christ. Submission issues within marriage just reflect a heart that is unyielded to God himself, the true Lord of our lives. God has created all people to be in relationships with others, in many that have authority dynamics. We are to honor the God-given authorities over us as we honor Him. We do not have to trust in the authorities. We do need to trust in the ultimate Authority. As we rest in Christ's sovereignty, we can surrender control to our husbands, knowing God is truly in control.

Respect
Respect comes from the heart. And whatever is in there... well, it will come out. Spending time with God gives us an ever-increasing view of His love for us. Undeserved love for us. We come to see how He has created us in His image and given us worth. Inherently, we are not worthy of respect. We are hateful, prideful, and selfish at our best. But God comes to us with love, care and the utmost esteem. How ridiculous would it be for us to approach another person with anything less?

Gentleness
A fruit of the Spirit. All believers are called to exhibit this trait. When interacting with others, when being hurt or wronged, when approached with sin, we can be gentle. Not harsh. Not overbearing. Not angry. We can respond to others not out of agitation but out of grace. And that unmerited gentleness may lead them to repentance.

Quietness
Women are tasked with the great privilege of bringing life. Not just biologically, but spiritually and emotionally. Our peace in the midst of trial and turmoil communicates great faith in a great God. We let the world know everything is OK, that God is taking care. Rather than escalating fear, worry and stress, we disperse them with our quiet, peaceful, restful, trusting spirit.

God calls all of these traits precious. They are for Now. Not married Miya somewhere in the great haziness of the future. Now Miya. The Miya that teaches small children. They need my gentleness. The Miya that disciples teen girls. They need my quietness. The Miya that drives in traffic with less-than-lovable motorists. They need my respect. The Miya that loves to be in control. I need submission.

As the married women talked and asked personal questions, some that rang with despair and weariness, they were met with the hope of the gospel. Time after time. But God. But Jesus. Being a godly wife is hard work. And so is being a godly woman... or a godly man. God requires holiness. And He deserves it. But we can't be holy. It is all the work of God - the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. We must run to Jesus. Grab hold of the gospel, and wait patiently for God to finish the work He began. God is faithful to do just that.

I pray that all of the women who attended were richly blessed by the Word, testimonies and prayer. I pray that the truth of God's awesome resurrecting power - that He so graciously works on our behalf - covers, supports and encourages them to hope in our True Husband and our Eternal Marriage.





*Note: The talk was mostly from 1 Peter 3:1-6. Check it out.