His Steadfast Love Endures Forever

God's steadfast love endures forever is the refrain in all 26 verses of Psalm 136. But how do we know? What proof does the psalmist give?

God is good. He is the God of gods and Lord of all lords.
God is powerful.
God serves us in mighty, even miraculous ways.
God is the Creator. He made things with understanding, with care and divine forethought. Everything is on purpose - the land, the water, the lights, the darkness.
God works justice for His people.
God delivers, redeems, protects, guides, and governs His people.
God removes unrighteous rulers.
God rewards His children and gives them an inheritance.
God considers our frame, our weakness and iniquity, and still He rescues us. He sent His Son to live perfectly for us, to die in our place, and to raise to give us freedom. He has rescued us from our biggest foes - sin, death, the devil. 
God gives us all that we need.

All these God did for the Israelites. Yet the refrain says, his steadfast love endures forever. So we can be sure He is still and will continue to do these things for us as well.

26 Give thanks to the God of heaven,
for his steadfast love endures forever.

Best Dad Ever!

"Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good;
sing to his name, for it is pleasant!
For the Lord has chosen Jacob for himself,
Israel as his own possession."

Psalm 135:3-4

The Lord has chosen us! That is great reason to give Him praise. Adoption is so beautiful because there was no pre-existing responsibility or duty. God didn't have to chose to love and save us and call us His own. He did that on His own accord. And now we, His children, get all the benefits of sonship. Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good!

Happy Father's Day!

God's Grace in Community

On May 31, 2014, I moved my apartment into storage.
On June 6, 2014, I moved the final bits of my classroom into storage.
On June 7, 2014, I boarded a plane to Tulsa, OK, the first leg of my journey away from my Charlotte home.

I left many things in Charlotte - clothes, shoes, a hooded dryer (I should try to get that back), teaching supplies, books, files, a job. Temporarily, I left my TV, laserjet printer and my car. Some I've gotten back, some I knew I was leaving for good.

I also left community. The hardest thing to leave. Beautiful Christian community. 

Community that knows, accepts and loves you anyway - a knowledge built over years.
Community that wants you around and sees all the good God has placed in you and is uncovering day by day. 
Community that aids in the sometimes painful process of peeling away the filth to get to the gold. Community that celebrates you publicly on special occasions and quietly for the simple acts of faithful service, or just being yourself. 
Community that sees your strengths and spurs you on towards great works.
Community that serves you and rallies around to meet your needs.
Community that prays for you and over you - the best gift.
Community that comforts you, holding your hand, talking you through and just being there. With you. In it.
Community that walks with you through decision making and encourages the wisdom and direction God has given.
Community that invites you over and comes to see you.
Community that laughs with you. Then cries with you.
Community that has not just gotten to know you, but has let you into their lives for mutual upbuilding.
Community that never wants to see you go, but pushes you to walk in the path God has ordered.
Community that hugs you tight, then sends you on your way, expecting a fruitful report.

I had this community from my work relationships, friendships, but most strongly from my church. God gave me this beautiful gift that I didn't even know I needed. In fact, I had never experienced such grace. 

I knew that God wanted me in Durham, so He would be my provider. Not just physically, but for my spiritual and emotional deficiencies as well. He promises to give me all things I need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Christ. His plan is to make me like Christ, and He most certainly uses the Church in that sanctifying work.

But I'm moving away from my community.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

But I only know a handful of people in Durham, and half aren't Christians.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

One of my prayers (and the prayers of countless others for me) was that God would send me beautiful Christian community in my new home. A church home. Somewhere to grow, give and serve. Somewhere to be built up and to be challenged. Strong friendships built on the Truth.

I look around one year later and God has answered that prayer far more than I could have imagined. 
Friendships at work. Community group from church. Beautiful random Monday night girls group. And all the other relationships I had before. They never left, never dissolved, just were supplemented. God has truly supplied my needs.

I am so grateful that these relationships aren't superficial. God calls us to bear one another's burdens, to walk in peace, to have brotherly affection for one another. God is a relational God, relating to Himself within the Trinity and with us. He requires us to have a vertical relationship with Him and horizontal relationships with one another. The one thing God called "not good" in creation was when man was alone. And the striking thing about this fact is that man wasn't alone. He had God, right there, in his face, walking in the garden with him. Yet God knew He had created man to be in community with other people also. God's grace is sufficient, but God graces us with relationships. He uses those relationships to conform us to the image of Christ and to prepare us for the perfectly reconciled sin-free relationships we will experience for all eternity with Him. When Proverbs speaks of ironing sharpening iron, it implies that the iron gets close - close enough to press and scrape and refine. 

This first year in Durham has been an interesting one to say the least. God has been doing some refining. God has given me the grace to open my life to key people to aid in this scraping and pressing. 

This is the key. We have to get close. We have to make ourselves vulnerable to other believers so that God can use them to complete His good work in us and in them. We have to be transparent. Is it risky? Of course. But Jesus did a pretty risky thing to bring us into relationship with the Father. In this fallen world, people will hurt us and we will hurt them. That is what takes faith. It takes no faith to guard yourself and your life from everyone while shouting "Jesus is enough!" In fact, in that way you are simply trying to protect yourself and not allowing God to be your protector. You are trying to protect yourself from being close, being known. But how will the iron get sharpened locked carefully away in the closet? Or on display set high on the shelf? Solomon tells us two are better than one and a cord of three strands aren't easily broken. God uses His community to meet our needs and aid in sanctification.

It won't be easy. But it will be fruitful when done in the power of the Lord. God is a god of reconciliation. For that purpose, He sent Christ to reconcile the world to Himself. He has now given us that ministry in evangelism and in our Christian relationships. Jesus tells us to forgive one another. Jesus prays that we would be unified, having one mind. Jesus didn't send us alone. He literally sent His disciples out in pairs. The Holy Spirit has organized the body of Christ as He saw fit, where we all need and rely on each other. 

Community is so incredibly vital for the Christian. We live in an individualistic, independent society, where we think we can do it, make it, handle it all on our own. When we become Christians, we often change that mantra slightly to we can do it, make it, handle it all on our own - with Jesus. But in practice, it's the same. Because Jesus is calling us into relationships and interdependence with one another. The way the world will know we are His is by our love for one another. And love takes closeness and work!

Consider how you can engage more deeply with Christ's body.
How can you be transparent with other believers?
How can you show your gratefulness to the Body God has placed in your life?
How can you take the risk and cast aside any fears of being hurt to embrace the beauty of Christian community?

Thank you God that you don't leave us in that "not good" state, but that You provide exactly what we need in other believers. You are good. We can trust You to protect us, so we don't have to protect ourselves. You are our rock, shield and refuge. Because You have done the great work of reconciling us to God, we can stand in Your power and be reconciled to others. Thank you for Your Church. Thank you for choosing us to be a part of Your Church. May we never take her for granted. Amen.

Casting Out Fear

It's a strangely wet and warm winter day.

Just moments ago, I was sitting in a restaurant brunching alone. Watching. Thinking.

Micah 7 and the pastor reminded me of God's great faithfulness, love and forgiveness. And I was pondering that goodness.

So much goodness. So much grace.
"How can anyone not love Him?" Words from a dear friend just the other day.
"Who is like the Lord?" Words from Micah to the generations.

I sit. I wait. I taste. I thank.

Thank you for the 3 older ladies dressed in their cutest Sunday clothes, eating brunch, drinking Bloody Mary's, praying corporately to you before their meal. 

Thank you for the married couple maintaining eye contact and conversation as they wait for their food.
Thank you for an attentive waiter and a small table in the corner.
Thank you for the slow, light rain and the slate grey sky.
Thank you for the Word being preached and your Spirit alighting our hearts. 
Thank you for solitude.
Thank you for freedom.
Thank you for beauty.

Thank you for creating things to be delighted in. Thank you for being worthy to be delighted in and captivating me with your goodness, your greatness.
Thank you for love.
Thank you for protection.
Thank you for your Speaking Voice.
Thank you for ears to hear.
Thank you for prayer and an open heart.
Thank you for your faithfulness. That I can see all you have done in scripture mirrored in my life. You never change.
Thank you for acceptance.
Thank you for Presence when I'm alone.

Over the past few days, I had been thinking about writing a post about fear. But you know what 1 John 4:18 tells us casts out fear. I suppose right now I'm rolling in it.

Not because anything external has changed. And certainly God nor His love has. Just my focus. Eucharisteo. To remember, to acknowledge. To give thanks.

What else could happen if we, God's chosen children, stop and gaze at the creator of love and all things good and perfect? When we see Him clearly - even in spite of our wretchedness coming into focus - we can't help but worship Him all the more.

27 and Trusting: Birthday Reflections

Yesterday, a friend sent a text with birthday wishes. She said she hoped this next year would be just as good as the last. I promptly replied, "I hope this next year is waaaay better than this last one." Man! I had not been all reflective until then, but this year was tough.

One year ago, on my 26th birthday, I was heartbroken. I left my dinner hurt, feeling completely misunderstood and uncared for. I was so fearful to let go of something that was doing me no good. So, I prayed for rain and prepared my field for two more months, only to find that God would never cause something toxic to flourish in my life.

And that was it. The end of a 2 year relationship on the shallow end. But when I waded out a bit further, I could see it was the end of my life as I knew it. So much would be completely altered from that point - hopes, desires, plans, routines, habits, friendships, residence, employment.

This year was nothing like I pictured it would be. It was full of tears. When I think of those tears... It was full of loneliness. 
Yet full of rebuilding and remaking. 
Full of redeeming.

Through the changes, God met me. He reminded me what relationship I was still in. He reminded me who I still belonged to. He reminded me what name I should call on when I felt like no one was there. He used His Word - through songs, books, people, scripture.

As I was flying to Oklahoma for a training, avoiding the mounds of pre-work for my summer job, I looked in my kindle to start a new book. There were many unread, since I am a free book hoarder. But God nudged me to begin Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. God has since used that book to comfort and correct me. Every chapter has come at just the right time - for me and others. 

Isn't that what this is all about anyway? These crazy changes, this crazy life. Isn't it really all about trusting God? 
Something awful happens. We have to trust.
Something beautiful happens. We have to trust.
Something scary and unexpected happens. We have to trust.
And then God uses our trusting to encourage someone else to trust.

I have had some of it all this year. Lots of scary and unexpected, but some beautiful. I left my job, my home, my friends, and my church. The last one was the hardest. I now sit in my new classroom, in a new city, trying to figure it all out. But I trust God.

When I went to Chicago this summer, God gave me this verse - Isaiah 41:10.
Fear not, for I am with you.
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you. I will help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

It stayed scrawled across my bathroom mirror in my new apartment for months. Because the truth is I was afraid. I still am sometimes. I don't know what is going to happen this year. Or today. Part of me is afraid to plan or hope. But then I remember God is with me. God will strengthen me. And I breathe.

I don't know what 27 will hold. It could actually be worse than 26, but I sure hope not. But even if it holds more heartache, more loneliness and more change, I know God will also send the grace, the comfort and the security that is found only in Him. And that will be enough.

What Do We Do with Racism? Reflection on The New Jim Crow and Current Events

I've been upset lately. About a lot of things. Social ills, if you will. No one's suffering is more costly than another's, but the issue that I have been more consumed with is the state of our justice system, particularly as it deals with people of color.

Certainly there has been quite the commotion in the news and social media outlets about the latest reported, and oft recorded, murder. That occurrence and the subsequent events and injustices that have taken place have just piled on top of my mental laundry of thoughts. My school assigned summer reading books, one of which was The New Jim Crow.

This book details the history of race relations in America and the development of the institution of slavery, the institution of Jim Crow and the institution of another form of legal racial and social oppression. The author proposes that the current system of mass incarceration of black and brown people, mostly men, is the new completely legal way the majority is able to systematically capture and confine a people in an "undercaste". Once this people has been given the brand of "felon" or "criminal", they are legally excluded from the rights the majority deems essential to all citizens - like the freedoms to choose where to live, not be discriminated against when seeking employment (or otherwise), to vote, and more.

The book also explains how the system works - from the political landscaping, to the discriminatory laws, deployment of the local police, trials or lack there of, post-release pariah class, and federal court cases that solidified and validated it all. Above its obvious eye-opening properties, author Alexander hopes the awareness acts as a call to action.

Needless to say, I get angry every time I open this book.

The recent publicized acts of police brutality and discrimination have just illustrated so vividly all of the information outlined across those pages and churning in my heart.

A big part of my unease stems from the fact that I am a teacher of young children. Young black and brown children. Young black and brown children that live in poverty. Young black and brown children that live in the same impoverished neighborhoods police are targeting in the War on Thugs Drugs. Young black and brown children that will statistically be the next faces on these cell phone videos floating around Facebook and demonizing portraits highlighted in the news reports.

I have asked many children the age old question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" At 5 and 6, their aspirations echo police officer. They say they want to protect people, save people, help people, take away the bad people. I teach that police officers are some of our community heroes. Is that really true for my students? What have they already seen that reveals the flaws in my classification? What will they soon see?

All-knowing Research shows that people judge black boys to be older than they actually are and assign more responsibility to case studies of black boys engaging in unwanted behaviors. So how long before my students, my little black boys, are stopped, frisked, searched, assaulted, unjustly charged, unfairly sentenced, eagerly locked away and legally discriminated against for the rest of their lives?

I am upset and so so saddened by this. This reality that my middle-class upbringing in an Atlanta suburb shielded me from. The realization that I have taken the cup and drank the juice of poverty and criminality prejudice. The fact that over 60 years have passed, yet the picture looks the same.

This is the state of the world - racism, hate, murder, persecution, oppression, illness, death. What does one do with this? What does the Christian do with this?

That is what I am trying to figure out. But I will tell you what I know.

Jesus was hated, plotted against, hunted, betrayed, beaten, mocked, and murdered, and He didn't deserve that either. He underwent that treatment so that we would not have to be haters, plotters, hunters, betrayers, mockers, and murderers. He offers freedom from our prison of self - the need to feel esteemed by putting others beneath us, the desire to promote our own glory by any means necessary, the fear that elevates self-preservation over equality. He offers hope because He got up with all power and promises an eternity spent in His presence. He offers comfort as He sympathizes with our frailties, identifies in our suffering and strengthens in our weakness.

This isn't a pretty bow. Saying "the gospel" 50 times in your prayer closet isn't going to just make this system of institutionalized hate - or our issue of sin - go away. But somehow believing is the answer. Believing that God cares more about people than we can with our 140 character attention spans. Believing that He desires justice and is the only righteous Judge. Believing that He will judge. Believing and celebrating that He has graciously pardoned me through faith in Christ, because my sin is just as vile as murder and perpetuating racism.

I pray for us. All of us. For salvation and faith.
Amen.

Will Control

I've been thinking a lot about my will for the past few days. My desires and hopes, the ones I try not to have. No, they're not sinful in and of themselves. But if given too much weight, focus, and worship, they will be.

A few weeks ago, I was leading a Bible study with some teen girls discussing living out faith. I commented how when we worry, we take on weight that does not belong to us, and the stress feels like we're hamsters running on a wheel. We're not getting anywhere. My co-leader wondered if any of us felt like we get on and off that wheel, in what circumstances, and why. I reflected on how I have given my will (and wheel) to God regarding my new job and move. I am trusting Him with the details and have taken my hands off. However, I consistently try to take up the reins regarding my singleness.

That thought has stayed with me and I've wondered why that is the case. Why can I trust God to give me a job, a place to live, a church home and new friends in a new city, but struggle with believing that He knows best regarding my relationship status?

I have also been reading about God's sovereignty. Actually, He keeps teaching me about His sovereignty through scripture, blogs, tweets, conversations... all very sovereignly of course. The message is clear. "I am in control. I control creation, man, powers and situations. I work everything to accomplish my purposes for my glory and your good. Nothing is outside of my control." Nothing is outside of God's control.

This is important truth, but let's back up. God is working things out to accomplish a plan. His plan. There is a plan. There is a plan! And it will come to pass.

God has a will, an agenda. Psalm 33:10-11 states "The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." So what business do I have with a will of my own? What purpose is there in making plans apart from God? What satisfaction can be gained in hoping in the temporary?

If you recall how I started, I said I had been thinking about my will lately. Not only is it unnecessary, but it is harmful. I recently read that we Christians create stress when we wrestle with two wills - God's and ours. We say we want His, but we hold on to our own, leading to disappointment and resentment toward God and what He is doing. We focus on how God will "give us the desires of our heart" but overlook how we are to first "delight in the Lord".

Luke 14:33 says, "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." I can't help but think Jesus meant an all-encompassing "everything". So yes, our physical belongings are free game, but also our preferences, our desires, our hopes, our wills. In fact, our very lives.

The Experiencing God study makes it plain. "Until you are ready to make any change necessary to follow and obey what God has said, you will be of little use to God. Your greatest single difficulty in following God may come at this point of full surrender."

A few things have happened recently to remind me of a particular will or hope I still have as it relates to relationships. As this desire was reawakened, I found myself throwing a pity party. Oh, how unfair it is that God won't give me what I want! Why must I kill my will? Why can't God want to do the things I would like?

Yeah, I went there. But it was no surprise to God.

I was sure of God's sovereignty over me, but not of God's everlasting love for me. I don't know best. God does. I do not know the future. God does. I do not control circumstances and people. God does. I don't even know how many hairs I have on my own head. However, God does. 

God does not want to see me miss His best. He alone knows what that is. He alone is the map to get there.

God created everything. He created me. He gave me purpose. He gave His Son to die for me. He offers me intimate fellowship with Him. He has a plan for my life that fits into a larger, glorious narrative of salvation, redemption and relationship. He asks me to give up worry, stress, fear, doubt, and death in exchange for peace, joy, acceptance, contentment, provision, protection, relationship and eternal life. No, this is not fair. I don't deserve any of it. But He lavishes grace.

I can keep stressing over the strain of having two wills. I can turn up at one pity party after the other. I can strive to get what I think is best. However, I am choosing to take George Mueller's advice on how to discern God's voice, "I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter... Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is."

I am not sure exactly what God wills for me next week, tomorrow or even today. But I am aiming to make sure I am open and ready to do whatever He says. This is hard work. And I can only be faithful by God's power and grace. So pray for me.

For you, I pray that you would be reminded frequently of how big God is and how loving God is. I pray you would know He is not one at the expense of the other. He cares for you. He has a best for you. I pray that you would, like me, aim to give up everything, all temporary shadows, to gain everything that is eternal and real. Amen.


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Here is a video that has challenged me about my desires for marriage. Helpful if you have a similar will that needs to be conformed to God's.

Here is a song that blesses and convicts me EVERY time I listen to it.

Be blessed!
Miya