The One

Earlier this month, a friend of mine tweeted something along the lines of "Where are all the good men?" This is the heart's call of many single women, believing and non-believing. In response, I wrote, "Don't get discouraged. Just keep waiting. God only has to send 1."

I have reflected on that statement several times since then, especially when I hear stories of guys with no clear or pure intentions and their attempts at wooing my friends, "just to hang" or "get to know each other" or "just for dinner", etc. I gently remind my friends that every man in the world that approaches them can be the biggest jerk, emotionally immature, selfish, inconsiderate, conceited, rude or just have no idea what they're doing, until the one that isn't and does. The one that God created for them.

I am certainly not one to "pull em" and this is not common for me, but recently, I have experienced first-hand two of these attempts. Two men that I have known for at least 2 years have reached out to me to proclaim their "interest". Neither has stated clear intentions, but both have tried to fill my ears and heart with flattery and promises that their affection is true - though absent of true commitment.

As I reflected on these encounters, I was sure that these are not men I want to be with, because I am not looking simply to go on dates, flirt with someone, boost my or his ego, become someone's girlfriend or become emotionally attached just to sever those ties later. I want to be a wife. I want to be in a relationship with a man that has already decided to love me for the rest of his life. I want to be wooed by someone who desires to protect me (my heart, my spirit and my body) with covenant. I want to be loved by someone who is actively learning how to love through Jesus' constant example.

I reminded myself that even though these guys were inconsistent with their words, actions, and intentions (and therefore not to be taken seriously), refusing them would pay off with the one God has made for me. Then I started to feel the weight of that "hope" - the disgust with men with wavering wills and weak words, the bleak future filled with empty attempt after attempt, the courts in your mind that defend and oppose every rejected proposal, and the nights that fade away as your eyes close to the silhouette of unoccupied pillows.

See, what I have realized with my previous statement is that it provides a bit of hope that there is better coming. But what happens if that better starts to take too long? Will we waver in our hope, despise ourselves for letting so many opportunities pass us by, and settle for an imitation of love? Now I see the real hope is what we already possess. All of our hopes should ultimately lie in Christ, else we run the risk of them becoming idols, something we presume will satisfy us even apart from Christ.

God showed me that I must bask in what He has already given. When I look to Christ, I see a love that will not fail, that is sacrificial, that protects, that unreservedly pursues. Christ, through all of my refusals and attempts at leaving and "doing me", always comes after me, never lets our relationship go, because He chose me... for eternity. He approaches me with covenant. He knows exactly what He wants from me, and moreover, what He aims to give me, eternal life with Him. He comforts me. He puts my mind and heart at peace, because I never have to worry about Him abandoning me. He gives me every good thing that is good for me. He challenges me to grow and learn and trust. He builds my faith in His commitment and love everyday with words, actions, and consistency. He is faithful.

He is our hope. God created women with this longing to be pursued and romanced, so that we may respond. So often we seek men to initiate this interplay, but oh, if we would acknowledge Christ as the initiator and respond to Him.

Yes. God only has to send one. And indeed, He already has.