An Icy Revelation

Here's the scenario:

I drive to Greensboro to stay with my friend Thursday night. The ice storm hits and power goes out Friday morning. I was able to go out and bring some food back to a dark, cold, hungry house. We bundle up and chat by candlelight. After seeing the cleared roads and the melting ice and knowing the weather forecast for Saturday, I say and believe that the power will come back on in the morning. Around 1 PM, the power is still off and I decide to leave to go home to get some electricity-requiring things done. A few minutes after I leave, my friend calls and says her power is back on.

I'm sure you read this and think, "So what? I don't get it." However, the Lord used this situation to teach me some things about myself and Him.

After I hung up with her, I felt icky, disappointed in myself. And I wasn't sure why. Was it because I didn't stay long enough to wash my clothes? Was it because I left her to fend for herself?

Not really. I can wash at home. I had stayed with her over 24 hours powerless and I didn't have to. We had a great time, just talking with no distractions. And I honestly did believe the power would be coming back on soon. It was about 60 degrees outside, sunny and gorgeous. But I still felt icky.

The Lord reminded me of something I had studied just last week.

Our actions reflect what we believe.

If I believed the power would be coming back on soon, my actions should have proven that. I should have stayed. Maybe... that wasn't quite it.

In my mind, I had reasoned that the power may come back on later - too late for me to get all my work done, eat, shower, etc. and head back home that evening. So it would be wise to go ahead and start home to accomplish my tasks before dark.

Then the Lord reminded me of something I had studied just that morning.

When we believe the Lord said He will do something and it doesn't seem to be working out, clarify what He said and leave the details to the Lord.

But I didn't necessarily think the Lord had said the power would be turned back on. There was nothing to clarify. I didn't hear God say "Stay with your friend." I just thought about the circumstance and made a decision.

So what does all this mean? Why did my simple, logical decisions leave me feeling icky, convicted and needing to write this post?

It showed me how far I am from where God is. 

I did not disobey God's command. I did not hear God's command. I did not listen for God's command. I did not ask for God's command.

I do this all the time. I make decisions, based on what I think, what I see. However, we are supposed to walk by faith, not by sight. These two concepts - faith and sight - are set at odds in 2 Corinthians 5:7.

John 15:5 ends "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." I don't really believe that. I say I do. I try to, but my actions reveal something different. If we truly believed we must depend on God for every single move, action, and decision we make, we would seek God. I would seek God. When He answers, we would then trust Him to work out the details.

The Lord allowed this icky-ness to churn in me until He had shown me my real sin in this. It is not that I left. It is not that I willfully disobeyed Him. My sin is the belief that I don't need Him for everything. That then affects every decision that I make.

Do you believe this lie as well? Do you go throughout your days making plans, making decisions, arriving at beliefs based on the circumstances, never consulting God? Not for the "major" decisions, I am talking about all those little things that happen from one minute to the next.

God has created us for relationship with Him - intimate, personal, all-encompassing relationship. He wants to order our every step and provide our daily bread. He wants to use us to accomplish amazing feats for His kingdom. And He gives us a resurrecting power that saves us and empowers us to be made more like Him and do His work.

First we have to acknowledge we need that power. Then we must rely on it daily.

I am the vine. You are the branches.
If a man remains in Me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit.
Apart from Me, you can do nothing.

I'm pretty sure He meant that. It's time you and I start believing it.